Makes me wonder

DC Comics unveiled a new costume for Wonder Woman today, which really makes sense since Wonder Woman's costume makes her look like a star spangled stripper. With all due respect to Jim Lee, one of the greatest comic book artists of the past 25 years and the guy who came up with her new look, the new costume kind of sucks. Instead of a star spangled stripper she looks like a star spangled street walker. Long black leggings, bustier, blue leather jacket, and a choker. She looks like Wonder Jersey Girl. All that's missing is that weirdo hair bump and the fake tan.

Have a look at it here.

Anyways, I thought I'd take a crack at her costume too, just for fun. And because I'm a dork.

She's supposed to be an Amazon, so why not make her a bit more ancient Greek? That means no more stars, more leather armor less bathing suit, and sandals not high heels. Plus her costume is supposed to suggest the country she's an envoy to, hence the American flag elements, but why does she have so much gold in her costume if that's the case? I understand that 70 years ago red, blue and yellow were the printing colors available, hence Superman's costume too, but there's no yellow on the American flag. And it's kind of gaudy to wear that much gold. So I got rid of it in favor of silver, which is classier, right? Throw in a little bit of Art Deco to reference her 1940's origins and I think it still looks like her but less stripper or street walker. A little Xena Warrior Princes like? Maybe.

Jim Lee if you're reading this, you're welcome to borrow it.

Don Wenower's Gay Apparel

This is the original pencil drawing for a Christmas card design I made with a joke that kind of fell flat. It was a gag on the whole "don we now our gay apparel" lyric. Hardy har har. The finished product was colored and everything.

Walka walka

This is a walk cycle I did a while back for a proof of concept thingy I worked on that ultimately got scrapped. Despite having watched tons of cartoons I'm actually not a very good animator, as I discovered with this walk cycle which, when actually animated, made her look like she had a stick up her butt.

Bipolar Bears (as in 2 polar bears)

These polar bears were little studies I did for a larger project I was working on a while ago- a project I should probably take another stab at one day.

A Special Message from a Classy 1960's Lady

Here are a few things I wonder about-

Why do only women eat yogurt in commercials? I eat yogurt. Does that make me less of a man? Madison Avenue seems to think so.

Why do women have so much trouble pooping that they need special yogurt? Have they tried eating Indian food? That's like colon Drano.

What would the classy ladies of yesteryear think of all the special ladies' needs that get talked about openly on commercials? I think they would be mortified. I know I am.

Mad Balls Evolution

Remember Mad Balls? Those foam Nerf-like balls with grody looking faces? What a dumb toy. What an even worse Saturday morning cartoon show.

Magic Monkey's Paw

Ironically, owning a magic monkey's paw would be my magic monkey's paw wish.

WNBA JAM

This is an older doodle, I think of a WNBA player. Sadly, unlike a real WNBA player, this drawing has weak fundamentals. Like a real WNBA player though, it is unable to dunk. ZING!

What would Alex Toth draw?

This is an older doodle, done on the back of an old pay stub, I guess because the line at the bank was long that day or something. He's a weirdo alien.

I don't really think we can even begin to comprehend what a real alien would be like- after all, we'd have more in common with a fish or a bug than we would with something from another world- but even so it bothers me when aliens are created in comics and they have the same musculature as people but have blue skin and weird hair or something else that's lame. It's a drawing! It can be whatever! You know who was awesome at creating interesting aliens? Alex Toth. That guy was great.

Whew, that was one nerdy rant.

But I'm done now.

Flotilla DeBarge

I thought of the name Flotilla DeBarge the other day and really amused myself. I don't know if the drawing quite lives up to the name, but here she is.

Uggo

Two days ago I posted a doodle of a girl with a unique face that could be weird but instead falls on the pleasant side. This gal was just the opposite- on first glance normal, but on closer inspection an absolutely horrid visage of despicable wrongness.

Gay Jesus

You're probably offended by this, and well, I can hardly blame you.

Bethany

This is a drawing from a while back done off the cuff of someone I thought had an interesting face- one of those looks that's just a hair's breadth away from turning ugly or weird but as it is looks unique and pleasant. I don't really remember who she was, but I wrote "Bethany" in the corner of the drawing, so I guess that's her name. I kind of like how loose and quick this doodle looks, which I guess it would have to be if I was just sketching someone in a crowd.

Skeletor in younger, happier times

This is a doodle I did a while back and left on my brother's desk. He e-mailed it to me today and said I should post it because it's a hoot, and so here it is - the young, bright eyed Skeletor that Evil-lynn fell in love with.

Anything you can do, I can do better

Sometimes, due to my shallowness and fragile ego, I'll get into an "anything you can do, I can do better, I can do anything better than you" mode when I see someone else drawing something- particularly if I really can do it better. Pathetic, I know.

This drawing is the beginnings of my sad attempt to outdo someone else's drawing (not that the drawing itself is sad, it's infinitely better than what the other guy was doing). I might finish it and if I do I'll post that too. Then he'll see how much he sucks and that I'm great.

Yes, it's sad.

Also sad- my "Annie Get Your Gun" references.

Sherry - April 6

Sometimes I'll doodle stuff on scrap paper lying around the house and then sometimes other people will need to write down phone messages. This seeming non sequitur is the result of one of those instances. That's just some guy I drew and I don't know who Sherry is.

Stupid Cupid

Here's the other half to that Valentine's Day card.

Love is Blind, but Lust Likes to Watch

This is another old greeting card drawing where the final product was colored and stuff. The text of it said "Love is Blind, but Lust Likes to Watch." This is Lust, sort of a cross between a cupid, a demon, and Schneider from "One Day at a Time."

Hillbilly Bear

The other thing bears do in the woods is hide their moonshine still from the law. Hillbilly bears love corn- so long as they can drink it! Yeehaww!

Merry Christ Mouse

This is the original pencil drawing I did for a Christmas card a while back. The finished product was in color, with a couple other effects added plus the message "Merry Christ Mouse."

Haggard

I had a rare day off today and although I woke up around my usual time about two hours later I just crashed and the next thing I knew it was the middle of the afternoon. This old, fat, haggard looking guy pretty much sums up how I felt, plus his hair looks about what mine did for the better part of the day.

Rat a Tat Tat

Rats are grody!

Equo

I think that this is a rather serious looking horse, like you'd see as a war memorial or on a chess board, a certainly not a pretty pony like a little girl would draw on her notebook, because my notebooks are totally butch. Although wouldn't a war memorial with pretty ponies be an interesting, if not totally disrespectful, change of pace?

Rex the Lynx

Rex's owner is a German guy who thought it would be a delightful play on words and translation to name a lynx Rex, a play on "rechts" and "links," which in German is right and left. Also he doesn't know that Rex is a dog's name and that a lynx is a wild animal, but still, what fun!

Africula

Why Africula? Well, for one, Blackula is already taken and two, it's more politically correct than Blackula, isn't it? At least more politically correct than Count Chocula. How in the twenty first century they're still able to get away with such a politically incorrect name for that cereal I just don't know.

Tyrannical Tot

I was going to give this evil looking baby something maniacal to say as he wrung his hands and plotted against those he's been birthed to replace as they age and die off, but then I thought his horrid expression spoke for itself. Plus I couldn't think of anything witty for him at the time.

Crayola Sunset

I found another one of those elementary school trees I did.

Creepy Crawlers

Another elementary school example I found while sorting out end of the year stuff. Their assignment was to draw a bunch of bugs and fill the page with them. It was both to teach texture, or at the very least fill some time and keep students busy.

Crayola Sunrise

I was doing some end of the year sorting out and found this tree I did a few months ago. It was made as an example for elementary schoolers who were using crayons and watercolor to make trees. It looks okay I guess for something made with Crayola stuff.

Hare's Hubris

This drawing originally had a Tortoise too, but I didn't like the way he turned out, so Hare, I guess you win after all.